7 Truths to Prepare for a God-Honoring Marriage during Your Engagement

1. Be Prepared to Shift Priorities

Going from singleness to marriage means there is going to be one huge transition you must make in your life. Your relationship with your spouse must become the most important relationship in your life. This is the way God designed it. After your relationship with the Lord, your relationship with your spouse is more important than any other relationship you have. Your spouse must become the top priority and God expects you to do that. Here is the standard God established from the beginning.

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

The reason I am sharing this with you is that getting married will be a transition for your family and friends as well. Some of them will make this transition smoothly, but in other cases there may be some bumps along the way. If you are not careful and prepared for these challenges, it can creep in and affect your marriage.

This means parents, siblings, other family members, and friends will have to move to a different level of priority in your life. It does not mean you neglect them; it just means you re-prioritize them. The sooner you make this shift, the better off your marriage will be.

2. Spend Time Together in Prayer

I know you have heard people say to keep God at the center of your relationship. One of the best ways to do that is to spend time together praying. When you think about the wedding vows, there are two sides to the vows. Richer or poorer. Better or worse. Sickness and health.

The truth of marriage is you will most likely experience all these things. Prayer is there to help you, regardless of which part of the vows you are experiencing. If and when they occur in your marriage, you should always be able to seek the Lord in prayer together. Building this foundation now will carry you through all the highs and lows of married life.

3. Make God’s Word the Foundation for Your Life and Decision Making

As a couple, there are going to be many choices you will have to make throughout your marriage. You must decide how you will make those choices. The best foundation for everything you do in your marriage is God’s word. God’s word will give you principles, instructions, and commands to help you navigate every aspect of your life.

Don’t neglect God’s word, either individually or collectively. This can also be helpful when you come to places where you may not agree. Should that happen, then always allow God’s word to have the last say.

4. Maintain Sexual Purity Before

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).

One thing you should remember as an engaged couple is you are not married yet. I know you are close, and some people may even refer to you as son-in-law or daughter-in-law, but that is not true yet. As you get closer to the wedding day, the temptation to be sexual with each other will likely increase.

First, let me say the desire you have for each other is natural and healthy. It would be strange if two people are deciding to marry and there is no sexual desire between them. Despite the increase of desire for each other, remember you are still not married, so do everything you can to maintain your sexual purity until the wedding night. Once you are married, you will be thankful you did. 

5. Maintain Sexual Intimacy After

“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).

God created sexual intimacy specifically for the marriage relationship. Once you are married, you will have the license and freedom to enjoy each other throughout your marriage. Let your sexual intimacy be something you build on in your marriage and never use sex in a manipulative manner. Not only are you responsible for honoring God with your bodies, but you also honor each other with your bodies as well. Viewing your sexual relationship with the right perspective positions you to have long and satisfying sexual intimacy all throughout your marriage. 

6. Make Forgiveness a Centerpiece of Your Relationship

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

Inevitably, there will come a time when you may hurt each other. This could be intentional, but often it is unintentional. If you want to honor God in your marriage, then be willing to forgive and do it quickly. Nothing good will ever come in your relationship from harboring unforgiveness. I promise you this will destroy your relationship.

If you find yourself wrestling with forgiveness, then just think about how much God has forgiven you. That should hopefully snap you back into reality and move you to forgive and do it quickly.

7. Other Couples May Be Great for Inspiration but Not for Imitation

It is not unusual to draw inspiration from couples you know who have “great” marriages. While inspiration is wonderful, avoid taking the step of imitation. While there are general principles that work for every marriage, the way those principles get applied within marriage will be unique to you.

Your goal should not be to have a marriage just like (you can insert the name of the couple you know and admire here.) Your goal is to become the couple God has created you two to be. As you pursue that, your marriage may appear to look like someone else’s but it will truly reflect who the two of you are.

Final Thought 

It is impossible to incorporate so many truths I have learned into one article. However, as you think about the next phase of your life, hopefully some of these can help you position yourself to take that next step in the right direction.