How Foster Care Practically Shows Us the Gospel

Fostering Requires Solidarity

Jesus becoming human answers some common, honest objections to the risks involved in fostering. It’s true that not everyone is cut out to foster children. But many who could be foster parents choose not to, and even though they may give other reasons out loud, the requirement for solidarity — for coming alongside — is a major hindrance.

A Look at Our Story

It is challenging to describe what foster parenting is like because everyone’s story is irreplicable. Every family — both families fostering and families whose children are in the system — is radically different. Therefore, I can really only speak from my experience. My family of 6 (including our foster child) has been a foster family for 2.5 years, and the same child has been with us the whole time.

Fostering Requires Sacrificial Love

I want to stop for a moment to point out that it’s actually possible to foster without solidarity. You can provide a bed and meals to a child in exchange for payment from the state. You can keep that child at a distance emotionally because you don’t want to suffer too much if/when they leave. If things get too messy with them, you can send them back to the agency for them to find a “better fit.” You can tell all your friends about how awful the birth parents are and emphasize their failings. You can receive your reward up front in the admiration of others while maintaining boundaries on your suffering.

Don’t Give Up on Fostering Just Because of the Hard Parts

The number one reason people say they can’t foster children is that they couldn’t bear to say goodbye. I haven’t had to do this yet, but I have watched other friends do so. It will be traumatic for our whole family if/when our foster child has to say goodbye.

Coming alongside Those Who Suffer

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Rejoicing with Those Who Rejoice

And, like Jesus, we can rejoice with those who rejoice. Becoming someone’s parent — whether temporarily or permanently — means you look into the glorious future for that child and see what only God could make true. We do this with biological children — we wonder what their personality will be like, what jobs they will have, what hopes and dreams will be fulfilled in them. Being a foster parent means you get to believe in someone’s future.