How can a Christian avoid becoming a doormat for other people?

what does the bible say?

A doormat is a rug placed by a doorway on which people wipe off their shoes. Figuratively, the term doormat functions as a descriptor for people who allow themselves to be walked on—taken advantage of or used by others without combating it in any way. Sometimes Christians believe that because Jesus taught that we should "turn the other cheek" (Matthew 5:39) and "do good to those who hate you" (Luke 6:27), that He meant we should allow people to mistreat us, but this is not the case. It is a mistake to assume that being a Christian means continually putting up with derogatory or abusive treatment; even Jesus had boundaries. Jesus didn't want His disciples to be doormats, and He doesn't want us to be doormats either.

from the old testament

As Christians, we are representatives of God. When we experience "slaps on the cheek," instead of following the normal human reaction, responding in retaliation out of anger, we can take the high road and respond in love, choosing to forgive (Proverbs 19:11).

from the new testament

Jesus did tell us to turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:39) and to do good to those who hate us (Luke 6:27), but that did not mean becoming a doormat and letting people do whatever they want to us.Turning the other cheek does not mean letting people walk all over us; it means walking in forgiveness, not being vindictive, but respectful, letting things roll off. This prevents bitterness from growing within our own hearts (Hebrews 12:15).Having a strong sense of our identity in Christ helps prevent us from becoming doormats for others. We are created in God's image (Genesis 1:27), and He always wants the best for us (Romans 8:28–39). In Jesus, we are righteous in God's sight, thanks to Jesus' death and resurrection (2 Corinthians 5:21), and because of this we have the right to become children of God (John 1:12; Philippians 2:14–15; Ephesians 5:1). There should be no allowance for a child of the Most High God to be a doormat.

implications for today

If people have a low sense of self-worth, they may allow their insecurities to rule their decisions and how they allow others to treat them. Because they are afraid of rejection, they are unable to set up healthy boundaries and they allow their personal selves and spaces to be invaded by others in hopes that they will be loved, appreciated, and taken care of in return. Instead of finding their worth and validation from God, they attempt to be extremely compliant in order to earn their validation from fallible people, only to end up disappointed. We must let what God says and the example of how Jesus lived shape how we treat others and allow others to treat us. We live in Christ and follow His example (Galatians 2:20), but though Jesus served others with willingness, He also did not allow people to take advantage of Him—He gave to them only from what He was ready to give. Jesus refused to be a doormat and take whatever people threw at Him, whether that be wanting to make Him their king (John 6:15) or throw Him off a cliff (Luke 4:29). Jesus removed Himself from these extreme moments and snuck away from the crowds, many times to spend time with God instead.

We cannot have healthy relationships without healthy boundaries. If we cannot say "no," then we also cannot truly say "yes." When we allow ourselves to be a doormat for others, what we are really doing is enabling them to continue in their own irresponsibility or sins. This is selfish on our part, because it stems from our own desire to have others love or need us. Rather than letting them live and hopefully learn from their own experiences, we are compelled to attempt to rescue them from the consequences they deserve. This merely enables them to continue living the same way and doesn't cause them to need us as much as it causes them to use us—both are equally bad. Many times, an inability to say "no" is a sign of a doormat; even God says "no" at times. Knowing what God says about us and how He calls us to live can keep us from becoming doormats.